As usual, I'm drinking my lemonade blended with Andes red salt,
it just that most salty taste comes from my tears.
I felt extremely humiliated last night. I did that thing with all my
courage, can find no more my courage now, because it was totally
destroyed by that specific event. I feel so frustrated.
I've done many many things to ignore my needs for something for quite
a long time, but I'm only a normal human being, how can I just ignore my
desire all the time??? It's never left behind no matter how hard I try,
not a chance.
Can't figure out what I can do exactly, I've run out of all my ideas on this, I feel
kind of tired, I tried to convince myself that I can do it, but somehow it just
cruelly proved I was a fool and I can blame no one.
I've been vanquished...... I hope I can get over this, but god knows how hard I've tried.
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